Tuesday, 5 March 2013


This is my writing sample that i did last week and i plan on editing it and posting again to show how good i am at editing my work

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Lily she was nine years old her country was SNOWING, everywhere she looked she would always see white snow so she had an idea she went and got a ice cube and she left it outside to see if it would disappear.

In the morning she got out of bed and she ran outside her mum kelly called out “Lily get inside it is freezing out their get inside” but lily still wouldn't come in.

The workers men cleared all the snow and the snow melted in the sun “IT`s SUMMER IT`s SUMMER” Lily screamed out.

So she got another ice cube and she put it on the ground then she ran around her house and came back but all she saw was the ice gone all she saw was water so she got another ice cube and she put it there and she watched it as it melted WOW she said it is shiny and amazing so she showed it to someone.

She showed it to her mum and her mum just laughed what is so funny mum Aaahhh her mum said that is amazing but it is just ice yes said lily it is beautiful ohh get inside and have a rest her mum said.

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